Maria Ford in Donald P. Borchers’ “Perfect Fit” (2001) – feat. Bill Burr, Nell Carter & Paul Bartel

This is an official “Film by Donald P. Borchers”.

Bob Yari invited me to make this low budget film that he and I would own through our (now defunct) partnership, Scheherezade Entertainment. I had done a budget on this for David Willis, and since he ripped off my G.I. Jill idea (G.I. Jane), I bought this script out from under him and made it with Bob. Karma is a bitch.

“Perfect Fit” (2001) is a clever sleeper of an American black comedy, and film-noir, directed by Veteran B-Movie producer Donald P. Borchers, written by Anson Downes & Linda Favila, and starring Alexander Polinsky (CHARLES IN CHARGE, PUMPKINHEAD 2), Maria Ford (Former Las Vegas showgirl), and Renée Humphrey (JAILBAIT), with a cameo by Nell Carter, and David Grieco (HELL RIDE) in the central role. It is quirky. It is imaginative. And Maria, in it, is flawless. An aimless young man (Alexander Polinsky) turns to murder in order to satisfy the desires of his new girlfriend (Maria Ford), a delightfully self-absorbed, pampered, un-apologetic, aggressive woman used to getting whatever she wants, whatever the cost, and the supporting cast is solid. Both a very intelligent thriller that keeps you guessing to the very end, with a few plot twists, and a refreshing and sincere look at the quest for love, stability, identity and notoriety in a world where an article of clothing can be just enough to put you over in the superficial fast lane.

Society outsider Dick (Alexander Polinsky) is a near-disaffected SoCal Average Joe on every conceivable level. His well-written voice-over monologues about the underdog condition are surprisingly compelling and insightful at times. Dick is trying desperately to fit in somewhere in life and not having much luck in the nightclubs of LA.

One night, Dick meets the girl of his wet dreams, Perry (Maria Ford), the physical embodiment of every male heterosexual fantasy wrapped up into one tidy little package. She’s beautiful, intelligent, wild, witty, spontaneous, faithful, sexy, surprisingly accessible and makes great arm candy on the club circuit (having her by your side automatically gets you into all the A-list night spots).

But, there are strings attached. She is dominating. She is sarcastic. She has a past, and Perry gets what she wants when she wants it. And she’s something of a sociopath. And when you disappoint her, she doesn’t hesitate to prove that you are quickly and easily replaceable by some other drooling schmuck who has no clue that they are dealing with a calculating woman who can destroy their lives with the flick of her wrist.

Her weapon of choice is emotional manipulation; she knows just how men work, just what she will represent to them and just how to use this to her advantage.

Dick does indeed get Perry, and in the process, he shuns his girl-next-door friend, Amanda (Renée Humphrey), who truly is in love with him.

Dick and his dream woman, Perry, the girl Dick is willing to do anything for, indulge in multiple murders on their quest to camouflage Dick’s imagined inadequacies with that elusive pair of perfect fitting blue jeans.

For once, Maria Ford has been cast in a role with some substance. She really sinks her teeth into this part, and truly makes the most of it, giving a startlingly strong performance as a dangerously seductive woman obsessed with finding the perfect pair of blue jeans. She looks great, and steals every scene she’s in, playing her twisted character (selfish, manipulative yet oblivious) with deadpan seriousness and real screen charisma. Fans of Maria’s who have been claiming for years that she could be great if given a decent role have been proven right here.

The final screen appearance of Paul Bartel, as well as his final appearance alongside real-life friend Mary Woronov. The two both have funny cameo roles as Dick’s parents, and have appeared in several films over the years (often as husband-and-wife), including starring roles in Bartel’s directorial effort “Eating Raoul” (1982).

A simple but bizarre plot not for every taste, but a very original movie.

Great soundtrack that kept coming, and a great dance scene by Maria Ford. This movie is worth a watch, if only to think about why serial killers eat so much red meat. In what other movie is the beautiful, sexy lead allowed to have a healthy appetite?

MUSIC/SONGS SOUNDTRACK:
“I Want More” – Performed by Patrick Tuzzolino
“Shafty” – Performed by Brandon D’Amore
“Inside Out” – Performed by Jason Steele
“You Set Me On Fire – Performed by Zu
“Glass Eye” – Performed by Capsule
“L.A. Streets” – Performed by Chandler Haun
“Spare Me” – Performed by Jimmy Haun
“Deconstruction” – Performed by Jason Steele
“NEIGHBOURHOOD” – Performed by Space
“Serial Killers” – Performed by Jason Steele
“When It All Comes Crashing Down” – Chandler Haun
“Broken String” – Performed by Wendy Donovan
“Someday You’ll Pay – Performed by Chandler Haun & Jimmy Haun
“Ghost and the Lie” – Performed by Chandler Haun
“Bitter End” – Performed by Chandler Haun